Over this past weekend I’ve really been trying to focus on and celebrate the little victories. I’ve been reminding myself of what I wrote a couple weeks back: how it’s alright to have a good life even if its small. Because the past week has been super good in small ways.
Last Monday I got to go out with a friend, Dan, and see Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse which I absolutely loved. I enjoy the action, the storyline, the characters and how they interacted. I cried a bit, laughed a lot more, and was cheering for Miles by the end of it. This Monday morning Spiderverse has even more reasons to celebrate because it won best Animated Feature and it deserved it!
After the movie the two of us took a bus to get to our separate buses and we talked about a lot of things. About the movie. About how sometimes things don’t work. About how sometimes things work out amazingly. It was a nice way to come down off the post movie high and back into the real world where you can’t be Spiderman but maybe you can be Miles.
I worked for the rest of the week for the most part and when I wasn’t at work, I was working to begin the decluttering process. It’s one of my goals and, overall, I put it in my bullet journal because I’m just tired of being such a consent mess physically and mentally. I figured maybe if I worked at solving the physical mess then maybe that will go a long way to helping solve the mental mess.
So far, I’ve made some progress, but things aren’t perfect. They never will be, I have to keep reminding myself of that. But making progress is important too. I managed to clear some clothes I haven’t been wearing out of my closet and drawers and donate them so, hopefully, other people can use them. I moved my movie collection out of my bedroom bookcase and into the livingroom so that I don’t have to have books two deep on said bookshelf.
My desk is still an absolute mess right now. Like absolutely terrible and covered with just stacks of books I still have to read that do not have room on my bookshelf unless I go two deep again. Like I said, its been about the little victories.
I know what I want to do to make my desk more manageable, but I need the time to go looking for the shelf I need and the luck to find it so, right now, I just need to clear my desk in order to do my work or film. That’s not the worst thing in the world. And really, all of that just comes down to the complaint that I have too many books and for a nerd like me, that’s no complaint at all.
On Saturday Dan and I went out shopping and while I might have added some books to the collection, they were second hand and super cheap. And I actually resisted getting a lot more stuff as we jumped around stores and just walked the aisles. I did pick up a shoe rack for my closet (which makes it look so much better and so much more organized!!) and a new glass water bottle which I really needed. In fact, most of the shopping we did was the adult variety of “these are things we need” rather than “these are things we want” or “these are things we don’t really need”. Knowing that I’m working to declutter my space rather than add more to it certainly helped curb my craving to impulse buy. Having a car to just drop stuff into also meant we could skip getting a bag or two.
Oh yeah! I suppose that’s my biggest victory of all this passed week. On Friday I passed my G1 Exit Road Test. I now have my G2 license. Since I’m over 19 practically every restriction for me is now gone: I don’t need a licensed driver in my car, I can have as many passengers as I have working seatbelts, I can drive any time, and I can now drive on highways! Really, the only restrictions are the seatbelt thing and that I need to have a 0.0 blood alcohol level. Which is duh!
For most of my life I was so scared of driving, so anxious about everything that I just didn’t want to do it. Then I realized that I was hamstringing myself. My parents weren’t going to be around forever to drive me where I wanted to go. And I might not always live someplace with good public transit. There have been a lot of good jobs that I didn’t apply to because one of the requirements was having a driver’s license.
I mean, there are people who can’t drive for a myriad of reasons. One of my best friends will never be able to because she has a lazy eye and thus no depth perception. Her family has never had a reason or the finances to afford a car anyway. But I realized that I’m in the privileged position where I can safely drive a car that my parents have just handed to me. All that has been holding me back was fear.
And I’m tired of being scared.
I want to be able to go and visit Rach. I want to be able to drive Dan and I around as we do some shopping. I want to be able to apply for more jobs and take road trips. I guess I just want the opportunity for more little victories.
I’m feeling reflective today. Sorry, guys, not the nerdiest of posts. Though if you want to nerd-out and you haven’t seen Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse then you need to do it! It’s so good and I’m getting a copy as soon as its released on Blu-ray!