Today is the last day of 2018. About an hour before midnight. Sorry, it’s so late. I kinda actually forgot today was even Monday. It was more about being December 31st rather than it being Monday.
This year has been…long. And short. Bad and good. The same and different.
I’ve learned how to drive. Not enough to get my G2. I still can’t park backing up or parallel park. But I’ve gotten behind the wheel and I’m so much more comfortable there.
That’s the key thing for me. I’m getting more comfortable with both myself and new things around me. I did tours on boats! I’ve been terrified of boats since sailing school as a child but this summer I got onto a tour boat and rocked out some live commentary. I even got ovations for lifejacket demonstrations. Turns out I’m an absolute drama queen sometimes. I’m learning to drive. I got two root cannels despite being absolutely anxious around the dentist. (I had an allergic reaction to some anti-biotics too. Nothing concerning my breathing, just being spotted and very very itchy for about two weeks).
I got a job, originally for the summer, that ended up spreading into the off-season too. I’m actually going to be working year-round which is different. New.
My thesis was denied for defense in April, edited over the summer, and approved for defense in October. In November I flew back to my university’s city and defended said thesis toward the end of November. It went really well. I was nervous and when I needed to leave the room, so the professors could discuss whether or not I passed a student actually stopped to check on me because I looked so sick and worried. I didn’t need to look like that, but that’s just something I have to deal with: my anxiety and depression aren’t just going to disappear.
I got to visit my best friend in October and I’ve actually gotten some friends from work. Not only did I do karaoke at the staff party but have had multiple dinners with said coworkers/friends and even went to a Christmas party. This post is super late because right after work tonight the woman I was working with and I went out for dinner and to enjoy the light show at the local historical fort. It was beautiful. And nice. We enjoyed ourselves. I’m tired and I don’t think I’ll be able to stay awake until midnight.
It’s been a long and busy year and I don’t think I can even properly reflect on it in a blog post, Youtube video, or even both. Instead, I think I might just post this, brush my teeth (and floss because two root cannels is too many, damn it), and head to bed. Maybe the world will look different in the morning. Or maybe it won’t. That’ll be okay too.
Have a good night, folks. And a good new year too. Or, at least, try. Sometimes that’s all we can do.